Playland Touts Dragon Coaster's Leap in Poll
Mitch Hawker's industry standard wooden coaster poll was finalized recently, and the folks at Rye's Playland in Rye, New York were thrilled with the tremendous performance of their wooden Dragon Coaster.
"Dramatic Improvement in Dragon Coaster's Ranking," bragged the press release sent to media outlets worldwide. "Rye's Playland is proud to announce that our Dragon Coaster moved all the way up to 132nd, up from 135th last year. We spent an extra ten bucks on oil this year as well as increasing the cleaning of vomit from once weekly to twice weekly, and clearly our visitors have noticed the difference!"
The park is reportedly ordering dozens of "We're number 132!" banners to be hung throughout the park, as well as considering a major media buy in the northeastern television markets to promote the coaster's ranking. Additionally, park employees will henceforth be required to yell "I love my dragon woodie!" every time they come within fifty feet of the coaster.
In related news, Grizzly at Paramount's Great America in California still sucks beyond belief.