Saturday, April 26, 2003

Fearing Spewed Beverages, Kentucky Kingdom P.R. Skips Media Day for Greezed Lightnin'

Though they valiantly made it through the press conference announcing the relocation of the 25-year-old Schwarzkopf shuttle loop without bursting into laughter, the Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom public relations staff decided to skip the standard media day for fear of spewing soda, milk, or coffee through their noses all over the visiting media.

"We knew we'd have to claim it was new -- after all, it's our 'newest megacoaster!'" explained Amy Ballard-Riley, already giggling in an exclusive ARN&R interview. "I just couldn't make it through a full day of pretending that it's innovative."

Vice-President and park General Manager Lee Graham concurred with the decision. "Sure, I would've loved to have gotten some press. But even the backwards yokels who pass as journalists here in Kentucky would be able to recognize that this was last innovative back when Three's Company was still on." Graham held back laughter as he contemplated trying to maintain a straight face in giving away a "first ride" on the coaster, instead singing to himself.

"Come on knock on our door..."