Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Great Escape Continues Renovations to Comet

According to a Great Escape official, the theme park will continue its well-thought-out updating of the legendary Comet roller coaster this offseason.

The partial reprofiling of the wood classic in 2004 was already a tremendous success, according to park reps, which makes the completion of the job all the more important.

"This ride has been a burr in our collective anus for years," said park spokesman Jack Lloyd. "That smooth ride, the incredible sustained speed, the incredible bounty of glorious airtime, the odd little laterals and dips...what a blight on the Great Escape landscape. So we started to fix it, naturally using the great know-how and expertise of Six Flags Corporate, which is a group that really knows how to take tender loving care of a woodie."

Lloyd noted that the reprofiling carried out thus far had encompassed most of the first outward leg of the Comet. Where before there were "pesky bunny hops" and "fun," now the Comet pretty much drops about thirty feet into a straight run of track that turns a corner into the return leg. "It's way more betterer this way," clarified Lloyd.

Lloyd indicated that the full reprofiling of the coaster would take place over this offseason, after which delighted patrons could look forward to experiencing a wood coaster that goes about eight miles per hour twice around a completely flat oval with no bunny hills or significant drops whatsoever.

Great Escape has not announced when the planned anal probes are scheduled to be added to the Comet trains.


[Editor's Note: Don't forget; ARN&R reported years ago on the direction Great Escape would take upon its purchase by Six Flags. Don't say we didn't warn you.]

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