Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Man Gleans Important Update on Starliner Status From Screamscape, Sort Of

According to coaster enthusiast Rolf Gleba, 43, he has learned from the website Screamscape that the endangered wood coaster Starliner, of the now-defunct Miracle Strip Amusement Park, may be saved and moved to a new location. As it looked nearly certain until recently that the underrated and entertaining John Allen ride would be torn down to make way for condominiums or shopping plazas, this news was met with great surprise and pleasure from Gleba. However, the enthusiast was unable to access any further details about the possible relocation.

"Well, I went to the front page to see what was new at Screamscape," said Gleba, "and after a half hour or so of my CPU dealing with the giant Shoot the Ninja animation, and a couple more ads, and a pop-up asking if I had spyware, I clicked on the Rumors page. Then I had another half-hour wait so my computer could process a giant animated Shoot and Get a Free Ipod ad, a giant blinking Who is This Celebrity ad, a tire commercial, and a Starbucks ad with a huge thing that bounced up and down. When I clicked on the link that said it would tell me about Starliner, my computer froze up after another pop-up and three blinky advertisements hit it at once. I think one of them had Paris Hilton in it, but I don't remember the rest. Anyway, I figured I could reboot and try it again, but then I thought, 'ah, screw it, I don't have time for this,' so I never found out anything more extensive about what was going to happen to Starliner."

"But someone bought it and wants to move it somewhere," he added. "You can quote me on it."

--JCK

[Editor's Note: When asked for comment on the possible impending move of the Starliner, or on Gleba's inability to learn much about it, a representative of rec.roller-coaster said that its members didn't care one way or another about "some dumb coaster," and further added that Olive Garden and Red Lobster rule and family-owned restaurants suck.]