Saturday, January 28, 2006

Comic Mastermind Strikes Again

Several years after her ground-breaking work first appeared at Worlds of Fun, in the form of the irrepressibly unique artistic act of giving an onboard ride camera the bird, legendary attack comic Shana Golden, 19, is at it again, bringing a new dimension of avant-garde, in-your-face theatrics to the masses.

This morning, at a public restroom at Six Flags Magic Mountain, Golden unleashed a new era in the comedic arts by defacing a hot-air hand-dryer. Originally manufactured to include written instructions such as "Push button" and "Rub hands gently under warm air," the machine, after Golden's assault, now says "Push butt" and "Rub hands gently under arm air."

"That the most hilarious and original thing I've ever seen," said comic Chris Rock. "Damn, I wish I'd thought of that. To think, all these years those hand dryers have been sitting in trillions of public bathrooms, with those words just waiting to be messed with, and she came up with that. It's never, ever, been done before and it's a revolution in comedy."

"Sheer genius," added George Carlin. "'Push butt.' So simple, and yet so perfect. In the history of the universe, I bet no one has ever had the incredible creativity it takes to even think about scratching some letters out on a bathroom appliance. But this one, single, forward-thinking mastermind not only came up with the general idea, she came up with the perfect way of utilizing it to both make people laugh very hard and to shock them into rethinking their entire way of life. That's powerful."

But it isn't just that, according to experts. "This type of installation is part of a raw, underground movement that is redefining how we look at and appreciate art," says art historian Dr. Bevel Lestrange. "The way this work speaks to the people of Earth, and the deeper philosophical questions it raises, mark this woman as perhaps the most significant and unique artist since Jasper Johns, or perhaps even Jackson Pollock. Mark my words, this sort of unique and rebellious, but brilliant, vision of contemporary society will form a revolution in how art is perceived and appreciated."

According to another Magic Mountain guest, Golden also left a big turd in one of the toilets and didn't flush.

--JCK