Monday, March 13, 2006

Important Political Questions Answered Here

Because we are the home of news and rumors, and everything we provide is absolutely reliable, it was only a matter of time before the public began to turn to us not just for information about roller coasters and Mark Shapiro, but also for guidance on deeper, more important subjects. Such as world politics. Yes we're happy to help, especially when people hit our site to seek assistance with such deep, philosophical quandaries as "is nicholas cage a republican or democrat?"

We're happy to answer any questions such as this, because we're experts. We have full confidence that the person clicking on our site, looking to decide how they should vote in future elections based on what party affiliation an overacting buffoon maintains, discovered that "Nicholas Cage divorced [Lisa Marie] Presley 'because he could still taste Michael Jackson on her'" and felt satisfied.

--JCK