Comcast Drops Disney Bid; Disney Announces It Will Buy Quassy
In a stunning turn of events, Comcast today announced that it was dropping its $54 billion bid to buy Disney. At the same time, Disney announced that it was buying Lake Quassy, a small amusement park in Middlebury, Connecticut, for approximately $8 billion.
"Now that we've pushed aside Comcast, we're ready to move forward!" declared Michael Eisner of Disney. "We love to recreate old-style parks -- just look at Disney's California Adventure. And with Quassy, we've found the perfect park for developing that strategy. We don't have to do a thing, since the park is so lovingly maintained and perfectly designed in the first place!"
When asked if $8 billion might be a bit of an overpayment, Eisner scoffed. "Look, have you been to Quassy? It's the greatest hidden gem east of the Mississippi. We'll have millions of people going through the gates by the end of the summer."