Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Future Whores of America Hold First Annual Conference

(Gurnee, IL) Children are our future, as the classic song goes. To teach them well and let them lead the way, the Future Whores of America held their first annual conference at Six Flags Great America on Monday.

The conference attendees were easy to spot: 14-19 year olds dressed in men’s boxer briefs instead of shorts, halter tops, and high heeled flip flops roamed the grounds of the popular Midwestern theme park, occasionally stopping to freshen their lip gloss.

Among the popular discussions at the conference were “Rolling down your waistband to expose more pelvic bone” and “Our parents don’t even care.”

The conference did take a more serious note when an instant outbreak of Chlamydia occurred at the site of the popular standing rollercoaster Iron Wolf –- instantly knocking toilet seats out of the #2 cause of Chlamydia in 14-25 year olds in the US, as reflected on the chart below, provided by the Department of Health and Human Services.


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