Thursday, March 17, 2005

But Is It Available With A Huge "L" Superimposed?

We generally think we've seen just about the stupidest possible coaster-themed merchandise. After all, we've been to events -- we've seen the patches, the incredibly cheesy joke t-shirts (including our own tasteful ones!), the posters, the magnets, and, yes, the bumperstickers.

And then along comes this. A thrillseeker's diploma, available for the low price of $9.95 (plus a mere $2.50 shipping and handling), which is probably only $9.75 more than it would cost you to create it on any consumer-level computer with a marginally-functional color printer.

(Oh, and there's a fancy gold seal. Add another quarter spent at Hobby Lobby. We're guessing the handwritten signatures don't cost any extra, since it's presumably whoever the seller is toking up with that day.)

We certainly are pleased to read that "The scanned image does not do the diploma justice, it is nice," since from the scan it surely looks like a cheap inkjet printout created by a marginally literate person hoping to somehow make a living selling massively marked-up fake diplomas (his other diplomas include a hilarious array, from hedgehogs to AMC Gremlin Hornets!).

But hey, it's a revenue source, so we'll join the competition: For just $20, we'll send you a guaranteed-authentic color printout of any ARN&R entry you desire, with a genuine signature by whoever is around. Hell, we'll throw in a gold seal for $5 extra, and coffee stains for free. For $100, we'll even write a whole piece just about you and your wacky hijinks.

But until that business begins, we'll have to live with naming this auction the Site O' The Weak.

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