Tuesday, February 04, 2003

Everyone Keeps Ripping Off ARN&R, Sources Report

As reported by sources at ARN&R to the staff of ARN&R, everyone is apparently ripping off ideas and stories from ARN&R.

The first rippers-off were none other than the employees of the legendary satirical publication The Onion, sources claim. This week’s edition of The Onion has an article titled “U.N. Orders Wonka to Submit to Chocolate Factory Inspections.” While national humor experts label the article “damn funny,” several prominent scholars note a “disturbing” similarity between it and an article which appeared on ARN&R almost two months ago.

A more disturbing swiping of high-falutin’ concepts occurred this week, when, following what popular culture experts call an “amazingly silly ARN&R article” about coaster reality shows, the Discovery Network announced plans for just such a “craptastic” real life show, a one-hour reality TV documentary called Thrill Rides: Put to the Test.

A management representative of ARN&R stated in a press conference that ARN&R would have pursued litigation for unintellectual property theft, except that “we have decided to let the matter slide, as we really want to see our Beast thongs appear some day on a Discovery Network special, and our writing style appears, on rare occasions, to be just the tiniest, ever so slightly bit reminiscent of the style used for The Onion.”

As ARN&R appears to be the groundbreaking force in popular culture this week, the staff urges Six Flags New England not to blatantly steal our suggestion that they “use fire hoses to blast pressurized raw human waste at patrons.” Please.

--JCK