Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Kucinich to Hold Hearings on SoB's New Trains

Presidential candidate and Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) announced today his plans to hold extensive hearings on rumors about Cedar Fair's plans to replace the trains on the Kings Island coaster Son of Beast.

"I can't believe they're talking about replacing the trains with Gerstlauers," said Kucinich in an exclusive ARN&R interview. "I mean, what are they thinking? Have they never ridden in them? They beat the hell out of you, especially if you're, um, of a smaller stature. They've got no padding, they track terribly, and they rip the heck out of the track. It's terrible!"

Senior Kucinich staffers confirmed that he had chosen the new subject of activism because all of the rest of the Democratic presidential candidates had, in his words, "stolen" his idea of being opposed to the Iraq War.

Immediate reaction from the enthusiast community was overwhelmingly positive. "It's about time!" wrote USAirTimeWayz312 at SaveTheSonOfBeast.com's forums. "Finally, a politician is paying attention to important issues!" Similarly, TheBigOhio69 posted that "Dennis Kucinich is savvily seeking the enthusiast vote, and I commend him for it!" on his RideTheVote.org blog.

Kucinich would not confirm that he was considering introducing legislation mandating an exception to the minimum height requirements on coasters for current or former members of Congress.