Monday, August 10, 2009

Like the Stories, But Find All Those "Words" and "Paragraphs" Daunting?

Lucky you. You can now get ARN&R in 140 characters (or fewer!) at our Twitter feed.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Leading Prick Website Calls For Boycott of Leading Hair Loss Website for Calling for Boycott of Theme Park

Miami, FL July 28, 2009 --, the leading social network website dedicated to making strong and lasting connections among utter pricks, is calling for officials at, to cease advocating a boycott of Freestyle Park or face a boycott from its tens of thousands of prick participants.

A few days ago, announced its intention to call for a boycott of the Myrtle Beach theme park after one of its ads depicted a rider losing his toupee on the Time Machine roller coaster. "The officials at Freestyle Music Park should be ashamed and embarrassed for not only promoting this cheap, low-level and insulting ad, but then by defending it as 'fun'," said Michael Garcia, spokesman for in its press release.

In response,'s spokeswoman Janet Fleming-Reynolds, herself a total prick, said that "should be ashamed and embarrassed for promoting a view of pricks that is even worse than we deserve." Fleming-Reynolds continued: "Upwards of 40% of our male prick members are bald or balding, and, being total pricks, most of them use a toupee -- oh, sorry, a 'hair system.' But not even they are sufficiently prickish to think that this ad is offensive. Yes, we know lots of people lose their hair due to cancer treatment and the like, and of course, no, we're not enough of pricks to make fun of them. But that's not what the park was doing."

Other similar sites, including and, are considering similar actions, according to reports.


Thursday, March 05, 2009

Writing Our Acceptance Speech Already...

Looking forward to winning this award. Thanks in advance to our tens and tens of fans for nominating us repeatedly.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Our Question Is...

When will Flying Turns open?

We demand precision!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Are You Ready?

That's how long until the next Theme Park Review Friday update at RRC if it appears as the same time as last week.


Get yer typing fingers ready! Get yer insane asshattery prepared!


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

NYC: "Yes, We Would Like Coney Island to Look Just Like Your Mall."

In a surprising announcement, the New York City government acknowledged today that it does, in fact, want Coney Island ultimately to look like your regional mall. "In particular, we are seeking to emulate that classic and intensely missed mall, the Northland Shopping Center of Jennings, Missouri. But with new and similarly generic stores."

The press release continued: "Why have local and eclectic amusements, and historical buildings? Why have the original Nathan's? The answer is: No reason, when you can have a Gap, FYE, Abercrombie & Fitch, and, most critically, a One Potato Two and a Mrs. Fields Cookies."

Construction on the expected thirteen Starbucks will start immediately. Additionally, the press release notes that all current Coney Island residents will be replaced by white people from South Dakota.

Royalty Comes Out in Full Force for Inauguration

What's that? All those drama queens are actually just responding to a TPR thread?