Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Denver Ride Remains a Huge Hit

The Flying Coaster, a Zamperla Volare model of laydown roller coaster, remains a massive success at Six Flags Elitch Gardens, where it is now operating for its fourth season. Although the ride is not popular with everyone, it is still getting rave reviews from its target audience, marking it as a major destination attraction.

"Flying Coaster is still getting absolutely huge marks of approval from our target Fourteen Year Old Females With a Korean Father and Caucasian Mother Who Live in Boulder and Visit Elitch Gardens on June 20, 2006, Along With Three Friends Named Tammy, Jennifer, and Kate, Whose Favorite TV Show is Gilmore Girls, Whose Favorite Food is Lasagna, Whose Birman is Named Hermione, Whose Parents Drive Her and Her Friends to the Park in a Silver Chrysler Town & Country With 30,213 Miles and a Red Kool-Aid Stain On the Middle Seat, Who Has a Huge Crush on This Classmate Named Jimmy Who Plays the Bassoon, and Who Comments at Exactly 3:13 PM How Gross it is That Twister II Has a Sticky Seat audience," an elated Six Flags Elitch Gardens manager Harry Cox told ARN&R.

Indeed, the popularity of the ride with that all-important target audience was not overstated by Cox. When interviewed, Angela Kim, a fourteen year old Boulder native with a Korean father, Caucasian mother, whose favorite things include lasagna, Gilmore Girls, her cuddly cat Hermione, and a young bassoonist named Jimmy, and who was taken in a Chrysler minivan with 30,213 miles and a red stain on a seat for a day at Six Flags with her pals Tammy, Kate, and Jennifer yesterday, and who noticed that Twister II had a really icky seat, told us that "Flying Coaster is my favorite roller coaster" and that it is "the coolest ride ever made anywhere."

When questioned, Cox did reluctantly admit that other, less important, demographic groups all concur that Flying Coaster "pretty much sucks."