New Year's Resolution
We, the staff of Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors, resolve the following:
We will only report news that is absolutely factual and accurate, and we will make nothing up. We will no longer focus our barbed keyboards upon the beautiful, innocent, and special coaster enthusiast community. We will no longer insult this great nation's fine amusement parks. We will instead be a positive force in the industry, giving deep respect to the wonderful, unselfish and brilliant coaster enthusiast community and park chains such as Six Flags.
Oh, wait. What did you say the date was? Oh! Sorry, we've been out drinking heavily. We got confused and thought it was April 1st. Apparently, it's actually January 1st. Please disregard the preceding paragraph entirely.