Dollywood Flat Ride Revealed
Word has rapidly spread throughout the enthusiast community that Dollywood would be adding new flat rides, but only ARN&R has the exclusive word on what one of the rides will be.
Based loosely on Epcot's TestTrack concept, Dolly herself has been heavily involved in planning their new "non-flat" flat ride, an innovative concept in 4-D renderings and taking make-up artistry to the next level. The ride concept is presently named "TestRack," though the park is reportedly considering other names, including "Melonriffic" and, perhaps least subtly, "Breasasaurus Rex."
According to sources, TestRack will be unveiled at the Grand Opening of the 2005 season, and will allow guests to experience for themselves what it's like for Dolly to carry her own specific weight distribution around daily.
Initially, there were concerns that Disney would sue. But after some tough negotiating with the lead mouse himself, Dolly and her supporters, er, lawyers have won over Mickey. Rumors suggest that a large block of cheese was delivered to the Magic Kingdom, but this reporter was unable to confirm or deny those claims. Nor was ARN&R able to confirm reports that Mickey was allowed an opportunity to roam free on the inspirations for the new ride.
In any event, the potential litigation is no longer on the horizon, and so we can confirm (assuming Interactive Rides isn't involved): Coming in '05 to the mountains of Tennessee....TestRack!