Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Great Escape Continues Renovations to Comet

According to a Great Escape official, the theme park will continue its well-thought-out updating of the legendary Comet roller coaster this offseason.

The partial reprofiling of the wood classic in 2004 was already a tremendous success, according to park reps, which makes the completion of the job all the more important.

"This ride has been a burr in our collective anus for years," said park spokesman Jack Lloyd. "That smooth ride, the incredible sustained speed, the incredible bounty of glorious airtime, the odd little laterals and dips...what a blight on the Great Escape landscape. So we started to fix it, naturally using the great know-how and expertise of Six Flags Corporate, which is a group that really knows how to take tender loving care of a woodie."

Lloyd noted that the reprofiling carried out thus far had encompassed most of the first outward leg of the Comet. Where before there were "pesky bunny hops" and "fun," now the Comet pretty much drops about thirty feet into a straight run of track that turns a corner into the return leg. "It's way more betterer this way," clarified Lloyd.

Lloyd indicated that the full reprofiling of the coaster would take place over this offseason, after which delighted patrons could look forward to experiencing a wood coaster that goes about eight miles per hour twice around a completely flat oval with no bunny hills or significant drops whatsoever.

Great Escape has not announced when the planned anal probes are scheduled to be added to the Comet trains.

--JCK

[Editor's Note: Don't forget; ARN&R reported years ago on the direction Great Escape would take upon its purchase by Six Flags. Don't say we didn't warn you.]
First U.S. Installation of Screaming Squirrel Announced

An innovative S&S/Arrow family coaster will make its U. S. amusement park debut in Spring, 2005. The Screaming Squirrel, a production-model wild mouse-style ride where cars actually dive completely upside down, has previously only existed at the S&S facility in Logan, Utah, but that will change with the opening of a new installation of the compact ride at New Jersey's Bowcraft Amusement Park. Although Bowcraft is already home to a small Dragon model of junior coaster, the park has high hopes that being home to the unusual new Squirrel coaster will both bring the coveted coaster enthusiast demographic, as well as even more local guests, to its gates.

Although the Screaming Squirrel is available from S&S as a standard model, Bowcraft has decided to make its version stand out from potential copycats with extensive theming. According to park sources, park guests will approach the ride through a pine forest loaded with 6000 live and ominously chattering squirrels, which may or not pelt people on the head with acorns. Small groups of riders will next enter a preshow room where they will be subject to a simulated attack from vicious flesh-eating squirrels.

Following this simulated attack, riders board the unique four-person vehicles. Adding to the atmosphere, ride operators will wear realistic and comfortably warm squirrel fur outfits. During the ride's course of several dives and vertical switchbacks, the extensive theming continues with realistic and sudden attacks at random intervals by killer squirrels. The combination of a roller coaster ride, added to the utterly lifelike and terrifying squirrel attacks, is expected, in the words of a Bowcraft rep, to "make grown men squeal like pigs at the very sight of a common grey squirrel for the remainder of their pathetic natural lives."

The new ride will feature an advertising campaign based on the following slogan: "Bust Your Nut on the Screaming Squirrel!"

--JCK (with assistance from FMB)