Thursday, September 08, 2005

Football Fan Scoffs at Blackpool Ride

According to one American football fan, a ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach is completely wrong. Unfortunately, no one in the entire country of Great Britain gives a flying rat's ass.

The erroneous ride was spotted by football lover Dave Spugwicker, 45, during a visit to Blackpool this past week. "They have this set of bumper cars," he said. "It's called the Superbowl, and the cars are themed, strangely enough, to American football players instead of, I don't know, cricket or soccer or lawn bowling or something. Kinda cute. But when I got close to the ride, I almost had an aneurysm."

According to Spugwicker, the building for the ride featured paintings of the helmets, complete with logos, for various NFL teams, except that they were all wrong.

"They obviously haven't updated this ride since the 70's," said the disgusted Spugwicker. "The Broncos had that dumb horse rearing inside a big 'D', the Bucs were that horrible eye-searing orange color, the Bengals helmet actually said 'BENGALS' instead of featuring cool tiger stripes. The Jaguars and Panthers aren't even on there and the Oilers are! It's an atrocity. Don't they pay attention to the theming of their rides?"

Sadly, no one in the entire nation of Great Britain gives a shit. "Who cares?" was the only printable response received. Nonetheless, Spugwicker tells ARN&R that he will be initiating a letter-writing campaign to have the terrible and misleading ride theming altered.