Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Speaking of Sites O' the Weak

It's that time again, friends and enemies. And for this week's Site O' the Weak, we delve back a bit, into a Coasterbuzz topic that hasn't had a new post added since last summer. Normally, we try to pick on forum topics that are more current, but we only just stumbled across this beauty. We think you'll agree with us that the "grandur" of this topic makes it worthwhile to share.

In this excellent thread, a new poster brags about how his cousin's best friend's neighbor's cat once sprainted on some guy whose boss had a friend who used the same urinal a day after either Bolliger or Mabillard used it, or some such useless crap, as if anyone cares. The kind folk of Coasterbuzz react in their normal tolerant, patient way, with hilarity ensuing.

Our favorite part is when the poster says "it's okay to insult me, but please do it correctly," but that's hardly the only highlight. Read on.

Today's Lesson: How to Make a Coaster Site That Sucks Balls

We get thousands of letters every day asking "ARN&R, how can I get my website to be listed as the Site O' the Weak? Huh? Huh?"

Actually, we don't get that many letters saying that. Most of them have lots of words spelled wrong, as opposed to the example above. But indeed, it's a coveted title, one that gets your site all the right kind of recognition. However, webmasters are frequently confused as to how they might position themselves and their lame-ass, pathetic, coaster nerd sites for inclusion in our hall of shame.

Fortunately, someone finally created a website specifically designed to instruct people on how to make crappy sites that ARN&R writers can notice and subject to ridicule: How to Make an Annoying Web Page.

Okay, actually it isn't designed as a primer for how to be an SOW at all. But it sure comes in handy when you're looking to be mocked by ARN&R. Just follow some of the helpful hints on this website, throw in some stupid comments about your homemade coaster skid mark collection or how your 2002 CoasterCon ID badge you wear around to other parks is certain to get you some p*ssy, and you'll be well on your way to lining up with about three thousand similarly worthless sites and forum topics we'll get around to taking the piss out of some decade or another.


[Author's Note: Of course, about 90% of you coaster enthusiasts out there have no need whatsoever to peruse the Annoying Web Page site, as your site already sucks balls on its own and really doesn't need the help. But you might.]