Monday, May 23, 2005

FlatRides.com Creator Still Working On Identifying Spy Kids 2 Rides

For detailed and accurate information about flat rides, enthusiasts and other losers know there's just one place to go: FlatRides.com, also known as the Flat Joint, with the "joint" presumably referring to a product to mitigate the nausea engendered by the subject matter.

But there's still one set of flats that FlatRides.com has utterly failed to identify and catalog -- those appearing in the Spy Kids 2's opening sequence's "Troublemaker Park." ARN&R sat down for an exclusive interview with the site's reclusive and, some say, completely insane creator.

"I'm having real trouble with the Juggler in particular," said Mr. Flatty, as he insisted he be called in print. "It's got some of the ride action of the old Saturn 6s, but the tossing motion is pure Zamperla. Those restraints, though, look like the crappy work of Moser, and there's a moment at 7 minutes and 23 seconds, between frames 12 and 14 where I swear you can see a Wisdom logo."

Flatty has spent countless hours poring over screen captures from the Robert Rodriguez movie, screaming obscenities with frustration. "Rodriguez totally screwed up the background shots, so there's no way to tell what park it's at, so I can't call the park and ask. And some of these rides have got to be from the more obscure German circuits, since I've never seen them here. And Bill Paxton [who plays the park's owner] for some reason won't return my calls. Prick."