Thursday, August 14, 2008

McCain "Very Impressed" by New "Up-Stop Wheel Technology"

U.S. Senator John McCain, republican nominee for president, sought today to demonstrate his interest in cutting-edge technology by visiting the Coney Island Cyclone in Brooklyn, New York, declaring himself "astonished" at the "space age engineering" involved.

"The brilliant engineers who saw the need for wheels on not just the top, but also the bottom, of the wheels, are to be commended!" declared McCain in an exclusive ARN&R interview that took place next to the waterboarding installation. "I love the Mauch Chunk Railway, don't get me wrong, but this here, with the up-stop wheels and the hills, this is the future! In a John McCain administration, the American people can rest assured that we will take a cue from the wondrous innovations and break all barriers!"