Monday, May 26, 2003

Corrections

ARN&R willingly corrects factual errors, typographical mistakes, and incorrect and overzealous statements made on our website. Welcome to our new, semi-regular Corrections feature, where we fess up to our troublesome boo-boos with as much honesty and dignity as we can muster. If you think we have made an error in a story, please email us promptly at errorsupportcrew_main3456@absolutelyreliable.com. Or, better yet, call the American Coaster Enthusiasts at 609-889-6718 and let them deal with it. We’re pretty busy.

Due to a clerical error, a recent ARN&R article implied that all patrons of Six Flags New England are Chicano gang leaders and grotesque white trash of a level not seen even on the Jerry Springer show. ARN&R would certainly not knowingly disparage any race intentionally. Six Flags New England is indeed populated by loathsome and useless members of all races on this planet. We regret this error.

A feature in ARN&R stated that Coasterbuzz's Xfan enjoyed consuming the feces of his friends, preferably with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. This was an unfortunate typographical mistake. We actually meant to state that Xfan consumes his own feces, and he prefers it with a mango chutney and Turkish coffee. We offer our sincere apologies to Xfan for this error.

Due to an editorial error, ARN&R said that Quassy had all of the charm of being urinated on by Dick Van Patten in 108-degree heat. The article should have stated that Quassy was "a delightful park, fun for the whole family."

The statement that ThrillNetwork users average a third-grade reading level was inaccurate. Further research has indicated that the users' reading level is incapable of measurement.

Finally, our comments that the ACE members excitedly whoring themselves on behalf of the nearly worthless “new” Greezed Lightnin’ at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom were all “prize-winning jackasses” was an unfortunate exaggeration. To the best of our knowledge, none of these jackasses has actually won any prizes.