Friday, February 11, 2005

Ewwwwwww....

Plenty of weirdos have accidentally come across our website after typing in bizarre, freakish, or slightly grotesque searches at Google. And, although we don't have what these weirdos are looking for, we're certainly glad they dropped in on us anyway. Who doesn't like to read some amusement park industry satire when they're hot and horny to jerk it to some Jessica Simpson camel toe rumors? We don't have any pictures of Jessica Alba belching or Denise Richards scratching herself, and, sadly, seeing as we would probably be fairly wealthy by this point if we did, you will not find Paris Hilton crotch at ARN&R, either. But that doesn't mean we don't appreciate everyone's business, even if they came here by mistake.

Well, maybe not everyone. For instance, the person who came to ARN&R searching for "David Hasselhoff in speedo." Yes, you. Please go away and never come back. You frighten us.

--JCK
People Take ARN&R Seriously Again

Every couple of months it happens. Despite every conceivable indication that our website is completely silly, ridiculous, and no sane person could believe a single dang word written on it, someone inevitably thinks ARN&R is a real source for news and posts a link to us.

One of our favorites (sadly, now offline) was when the Florida Historical Foundations, a group partly dedicated to saving the memory of Boardwalk and Baseball, linked to an absurd story of ours where the Cincinnati Bengals tried to visit the long-closed park after a losing season, were bitten by rabid dogs, and were seen visibly crying. The Florida Historical Foundations took it so seriously that they even quoted from our article. And, of course, our material frequently appears on various coaster message boards, where some dumbass inevitably believes and posts a link to such nonsense as the Garfield upgrade at Kennywood consisting of jet-propelled cat dander and an overwhelming odor of spraint. Come, people. Use those noggins.

Our latest victims are the members of the Houston Architecture Info Forum, who made the mistake of believing an ARN&R article regarding their local park, Six Flags Astroworld. At least they were properly chagrined when their error was pointed out, but the discussion before that point was pretty amusing. Amusing enough to make Site O' the Weak.

As always, please tune in to ARN&R, where only the most highly researched and utterly factual amusement park news and notes are reported.

--JCK