Sunday, February 20, 2005

Weird Search String Update

It's that time again where we alert our readers as to what odd search string requests cause people to mistakenly view ARN&R. Our five or six actual readers, anyway, since all the rest of you appear to be random perverts who obviously came here by accident looking for something nasty like "Barney Ass Gravy" and are presumably not planning to return since you didn't find it.

Throughout January and February, we've still been having regular appearances of all our old favorites, like Jessica Alba Belching (7 hits), Paris Hilton Crotch (or similar variants, 66 hits), and Female Wedgies (or similar variants, 38 hits), but some great creativity has led intrepid internet explorers to land at ARN&R in search of the following interesting things of late:

Brittany Rears

After seeing literally hundreds of hits to ARN&R using this name, one member of the editorial staff decided there probably weren't that many people dumb enough to spell the brain-dead singer's name wrong over and over (probably being the operative word), so we looked it up. Well, you learn something every day. Apparently, Brittany Rears is the name of an actual porn star, so we'd like to give huzzahs and/or kudos to FMB, who wrote a story using that name, for bringing us way more traffic than we've had for anything besides the aforementioned Ms. Hilton's nether regions.

Pootie Tang Translation

Back in January, a Breaking News sidebar mentioned Pootie Tang. Apparently this led to people hitting our site fourteen times in an attempt to locate Pootie Tang Translation. Well, which one? Do you want it in Spanish? Hindustani? Quenya? Aurebesh? You've got to be more specific.

Boys Restroom

We aren't sure if it's more frightening that eight of you found our site with this search or that it would have taken too long to find our actual listing (the link just goes to the first page) in the search results since there are 3,370 entries for this on Google. Just trust us, several people found us while doing this search, and the only comment we can make is that either you're looking for Mapquest directions from your office cubicle to the shitter, or you need to turn yourself in to the proper authorities immediately.

Be sure to catch our next installment of Weird Search Strings...we don't know when it will be, but since there seem to be plenty of deranged fruitcakes checking out ARN&R, we're bound to have another edition pretty soon.

--JCK