Wednesday, January 18, 2006

E.T. Frustrates Universal Studios Visitor

A recent visitor to Universal Studios theme park in Orlando, Florida, stated today that he was "blatantly ignored" yesterday by the animatronic E.T. at the end of The E.T. Adventure ride. Dr. Dikembe Billy-Bob Rittenhouse Arjumand Ktulu-Lieberman Svenson III reports that he was "very upset" that the ride refused to acknowledge him while clearly thanking many other people on the ride by name for saving his planet.

"There's obviously some sort of conspiracy going on against me here," said Dr. Rittenhouse Arjumand Ktulu-Lieberman Svenson III. "I gave my name at the beginning of the ride just like everyone else, and I turned in the little passport thing to an attendant just like everyone else, and yet E.T. did not see fit to thank me for my services. That little prick."

Rittenhouse Arjumand Ktulu-Lieberman Svenson III further noted that, not only did various strangers on his bike receive personalized thanks from the alien, but the other members of his party, Dr. Tom Smith, Dr. Jen Johnson, and Dr. John Jones, had their names spoken.

Rittenhouse Arjumand Ktulu-Lieberman Svenson III, who has achieved worldwide acclaim for his research on FUKS Syndrome and the alarming effects of tacky amusement park hillbilly theming, stated that he would be demanding his admission fee back for being slighted by E.T., and that he would ponder taking further legal action.

--JCK