Thursday, September 05, 2002

Intamin, Six Flags Announce Innovative Collaboration for Halloween Events

In what is being hailed as a breakthrough in Halloween events, Six Flags and Intamin announced yesterday a never-before-seen attraction to be premiered at Six Flags New England. The attraction, known presently by its trade name, "Kill a Guy," will be initially launched during SFNE's "FrightFest" Halloween event under the name "Kill a Foreign Guy." In the event, foreign exchange workers will be placed on the tracks of coasters throughout the park at random times. In almost every instance, the employee will be given sufficient time to escape the approaching coaster train.

"But a few lucky riders," says Gary Story, head of Six Flags Theme Parks Inc., "will get to be present at the end of a human life. None of this theatrical fake crap for us like at Knott's. Nope. This is actual death." Story then twitched visibly and was seen trying to keep his hat on over the apparent demonic horns growing from his head.

Intamin, a growing coaster and other ride company from Switzerland, is involved to ensure the complete safety of passengers on the death-bringing coasters, according to spokesman Jan Smagby. "No, we would not want any of the people on the trains to get hit by a limb or other body part; they might get hurt! So we have developed a special harness for the exchange workers, ensuring that their bodies will remain fully together, if not fully functional, after impact. Still, there might be a little blood." The workers are expected to have been tested for communicable diseases prior to being "volunteered" for duty in the attraction, so as to minimize any danger from flying blood or other fluids.

When reached for comment, the YMCA -- sponsor of the foreign exchange workers' trip to the U.S. -- was ambivalent. "On the one hand, we'd prefer that the workers be alive and able to return next summer. On the other hand, we and Six Flags pretty much treated them horribly this summer, so the odds of that were pretty low to begin with. And we've gotten a full summer of work out of them, so it's really not too big a deal to us."

In related news, Knott's was said to be in negotiations with California officials to feature the execution of a prisoner on California's Death Row during the Knott's Scary Farm event, held yearly at Knott's Berry Farm.

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