Saturday, May 10, 2003

Hoover Sues Cedar Fair Over Copyright/Patent Infringement

Hoover International, the makers of fine vacuum equipment for more than 75 years, has filed suit in a federal court claiming Cedar Fair has breached patent copyright laws with the design of their newest attraction: Top Thrill Dragster.

"We are not saying the ride 'sucks' like our vacuum products," claims Peter Puller, a representative for Hoover International. "However, after bringing my 11 year old daughter to Cedar Point for the opening of this 2003 season, I couldn't help but notice the flagrant disregard of copyright/patent civility with the design of their newest attraction, Top Thrill Dragster."

Shanequa Aqua Greensfielder, an attorney for Hoover International, registered exhibit "A" with the federal court today showing claims of Hoover's original advertising scheme of 0-120mph in under one second and a 42" hose tube. "This obviously was reflected in the design scheme of TTD with their 0-120mph speed and 420' high tower," continued Greensfielder. "[T]his infringement is malicious, atrocious, underhanded and downright sinful! We are not only going after Cedar Fair, we will also be attacking Cedar Point directly, as well as Intamin, the original designers, a random Dippin' Dots guy, and ‘Joe,’ the guy who pissed on the wall...no one shall escape our wrath!"

Hoover International also plans lawsuits around this great country of ours attacking such parks as Tennessee's Libertyland, Six Flags' Great Adventure, Paramount's Carowinds and Disney's California Adventure (to name quite a few), for containing rides that do 'suck.'

-RAS

[Editor's Note: Yes, we know we posted two consectutive Top Thrill Dragster articles. After all, the opening of this 5-second ride is the single most important event in the history of mankind, and deserves to be feted and fawned over by every website on the planet for the rest of eternity. Or something. In any case, go buy that t-shirt of the guy pissing on the most important thing ever constructed by the hand of man. You know you want it.]

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