Friday, October 31, 2003

Bachelor’s ERT Wasted

Enthusiasts across the nation shook their heads in amazement last Wednesday as they watched “Bachelor Bob,” star of ABC’s The Bachelor spend exclusive after-hours time in Paramount’s Great America wooing a woman instead of marathon-riding Top Gun.

“What a waste!” proclaimed Jeremy Jungfrau of Palo Alto. “They had PGA all to themselves and wasted that precious ERT on a candlelit dinner? And worse, instead of riding after dinner they talk and make out? Total and complete waste of ERT, man!”

Jungfrau, who admits to experiencing an erection at seeing Paramount’s Great America and, more specifically, the Top Gun roller coaster on prime time television, could not believe that only a few shots were of the rides in the park. “All the shots were just Bob and Mary walking around eating – why anyone would go to a theme park with a chick is beyond me. They always just want to use the bathroom, and never want to ride coasters.”

Jeremy then said that he plans to re-view Robb Alvey’s 2002 coaster video every Wednesday at 9/8central instead of The Bachelor – “At least the chick in Alvey’s videos gets on the rides.”


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