These Aren't the Droids You're Looking For
Once in a while, we get to browsing our logbooks here at ARN&R, and we're generally perplexed with the weird internet searches through which people locate our humble amusement park satire. Amongst the thousands (you think we're kidding, don't you?) of requests for information about Paris Hilton and her various skanky activities, as well as the ever-present quest for information on Jessica Alba belching, we've lately noticed these bizarre searches:
Star Jones Stomach Staple
Kyan Douglas Jersey
This just seems odd. Does Bravo Network make jerseys bearing a team name or number for any of the Queer Eye stars? It seems unlikely, since they tend to trash any sports apparel they find in the homes of the guys they make over. In any case, we're sorry to report that we do not carry any Kyan Douglas-themed products. However, we do have a lovely ARN&R Trucker Cap and Beast Thong amongst our Winter line of products at the ARN&R Online Shoppe.
Halle Barre in Boxing Outfit
If you're going to have a fetish, it might as well be specific...
Hazing Details and Pictures
Aw, s**t. Did some frat boy jackass find our site by accident? Sorry, this webpage is not a primer for how you can be a more successful date-rapist, get your penis branded with a coat hanger, commit noise ordinance violations, or piss off the roof of your frat house on people. Go away.