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Batman Vows to Continue Fighting Pussy at Six Flags

The new Batman vs. Catwoman: Catfight show at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey is the latest venue for the caped crusader and his well-toned sidekick to continue their ongoing battle against the pair’s largest evil nemesis -- vaginas.  In an exclusive interview with ARN&R, Batman revealed that Six Flags gave him a unique venue to share his views.

“Let’s face it, the straight agenda is really hurting my quality of life,” said Batman.  “We are continuing ‘Operation Fabulous’ in order to ensure gay pornography for every red-blooded man.  We are working against Vivid Video, Wicked Pictures and other video proprietors of hot threesomes, girl-on-girl action and, well...you know better than I do, ARN&R, but let's just mention strap-ons.  Six Flags has given us a great opportunity to spend time with families.”

Great Adventure General Manager Bill Muirhead said he wasn’t concerned with the superhero’s battle against the clitoris.  “Every comic book character that comes to life has someone he or she fights.  Superman had Lex Luthor, The X-Men had Magneto, but Batman kicked his enemies’ collective asses a long time ago.  In 2004 Batman and Robin are waging war against camel toe and we only wish them the best of luck.”  He added, “Don’t forget to bring a Coke can for $2 off the admission price!”

“Frankly I don’t see what the big f*cking deal is,” purred Catwoman.  “I needed money to get a cyst removed, so I agreed to let Batman fight my ‘gina.  Big freakin’ deal.”

Steve Stephenson, Arts & Entertainment editor for The Village Voice, commented, “I don’t understand this show.  As gay people we have a lot more to worry about than roast beef curtains.  Karl Rove is scarier than any vagina I’ve ever seen.”

Many were surprised that Batman and Robin didn’t come out against a more pressing issue, such as gay marriage.  The Boy Wonder said, “We have been together for over 60 years and all I can say is that Batman is way more worried about access to porn than marrying me.  I even came home with makeup all over my privates after doing the Joker at Six Flags Great America and he didn’t say a word.  He was too busy scouring the Internet for pictures of Two Face ‘calling down for more mayo.’” Robin then sighed audibly and wiped a tear away.

“Kids, be sure to ask your parents to bring you by the stunt auditorium. After the show dads can get a free massage!” grinned the horny crime fighter.

The Batman vs. Catwoman Show opens with the park on April 3.

--FMB