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DAFE Hard at Work on 2006 PPP Costumes

There is no rest for the weary. Two days after taking home another first-place award at the annual Phoenix Phall Phunphest, this time for their costume as the Knoebels' Shooting Gallery, the D.A.F.E. (Dark Ride and Funhouse Enthusiasts) started work on next year's get-up. Founder Steven Suggs said, "This is all that really matters. I don't go out socially, I don't exercise and if need be I am celibate. All of my time and energy is focused on one thing -- winning."

The D.A.F.E. have racked up a number of awards since first entering the contest several years ago. Whether dressed as rooms from the Knoebels' dark ride or as Whispers regulars, the group has constantly taken home the blue ribbon. Suggs said a large part of their domination is due to the lack of competition. "Sure, we work hard," he noted. "But, look at what's out there. Cute kids, Medieval Wenches, Fascination?! You have to be kidding me. Those chumps in black shirts and Devo hats can't hold a candle to us. They obviously haven't spent every Saturday night since July focused upon costume completion."

Tina Yothers, the only woman in the Fascination gang, defended her design efforts and her group's lack of nerdiness. "Yes, I only spent one day shopping on the costumes, but is that really such a bad thing? Don't brag to me about your utter lack of a life, Suggs."

Yothers is quiet about her groups plans for next year, but promises that they will blow D.A.F.E. away. Suggs insists that is not the case and said that his group will again remain supreme. "We will win. If that involves me not blowing up Sally, my inflatable woman, from December to February, then my God, that's what it will come to."

--FMB