Monday, January 02, 2006

NCAA Adds Another Bowl Game in 2006-2007

Despite arguments by many sports reporters and college athletics experts that there are already far too many Division I-A football bowl games, the NCAA announced today that it will be adding a another one beginning with the 2006-2007 season.

The AbsolutelyReliable Bowl will take place on scenic Wake Island, and will feature the ninth-placed team from the Mid-American Conference against the sixth-place team from the Sun Belt Conference. The roller coaster satire blog Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors made the best competitive bid to attach their corporate logo to the lucrative bowl, reportedly beating out such large-scale commercial ventures as McDonald's, Six Flags, and Billy Joe's House of Lamn Mower Repairs, Pizza Delivery, Mini-Golf & Swamp Tours.

"This is a major step for our website in reaching a large audience and asserting ourselves to the American public," stated the website's Grand Poobah in a press conference. "We have seen the figures that show how many people tune in to view, say, Kansas versus Houston in the Ft. Worth Bowl, or Akron versus Memphis in the Motor City Bowl, or someone I totally forget in the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. Those numbers are intimidatingly huge, and we plan to maximize our exposure with a similarly synergetic relationship to our bowl game in the years to come."

Although the AbsolutelyReliable Bowl did not exist this year, it would theoretically have pitted 4-7 Eastern Michigan against 4-7 Troy. NCAA regulations require teams to have at least six Division I-A victories in order to be allowed to compete in a bowl game, but officials have already stated that, should the Sun Belt and MAC not provide enough bowl-eligible teams to play in the AbsolutelyReliable Bowl, alternates can be chosen from any loser team from a major conference that barely managed a winning record against primarily patsies, or, if necessary, a local middle school team.

The inaugural AbsolutelyReliable Bowl will debut on December 21st of 2006 at 4:00 AM EST. It will be broadcast on the Oxygen Network.


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