Medieval History Day Goes Poorly At Castles 'N' Coasters
Attempting to emulate the success of larger parks' "Physics Days," Arizona-based Castles 'n' Coasters' management thought they would play to their strengths: castles. So they planned an elaborate Medieval History Day, inviting doctoral students from all the regional universities to attend.
Response was underwhelming, to say the least. "I study a subspecialty of agricultural literature common in medieval times, and they're trying to get me to come eat huge roasted turkey legs at an amusement park?" asked Rick Fineman, a Ph.D. student at the University of Arizona. "First of all, the huge roasted turkey legs are well-known to be renaissance in origin, and second, those castles are totally not medieval. Plus, I hear the coasters they have there suck."
The one group that came out in force was local high school drama clubs, who dressed, without exception, in capes and Birkenstocks. "Aye, the park is full of saucy wenches!" said Eugene Rocken III, a junior at Phoenix Regional High School.