Friday, March 02, 2007

SFGAMWorld Forum Poster Sadly Mistaken

We here at Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors wholeheartedly applaud the Six Flags decision to bring the Johnny Rockets hamburger chain to several of its park locations for the 2007 season. After all, what could be better for Six Flags than another understaffed counter-service restaurant with questionable nutritional value?

But as is the case with all earth-shaking announcements of this nature, incorrect information is bound to spread. Such is the case in
this SFGAMWorld thread discussing the possible location of the restaurant at Great America. In this thread, the poster known as “Aaron084” states that he won’t mind paying $2.50 for one of the eatery’s soft drinks, seeing as how they will be offered in an “all-you-can-drink” format.

“W-what?” asked a stunned Six Flags Chairman of the Board Daniel Snyder during an unsolicited telephone interview. “Someone actually thinks Johnny Rockets is going to have all-you-can-drink refreshments? And for two-fifty? You’ve got to be kidding me!

When ARN&R read the online statement to him verbatim, Snyder excused himself for nearly thirty seconds, during which hysterical laughter and coughing was audible. When he returned, he asked “Why don’t you ask Aaron084 if he’d like anything else in the 2007 season? Free parking, perhaps? How about friendly ride operators? Maybe restrooms that get cleaned more than once every moon cycle? I’ll tell Aaron084 what I tell all Six Flags patrons; if you don’t like the way we do business, go pound sand.

“Two fifty for a Coke,” Snyder muttered before hanging up. “You’ve got to be f---ing kidding me.”

(In addition, the SFGAMWorld poster known as
Cs5163 is the winner of the Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors Obvious Proclamation Award for the month of February for her statement “heck even a resturant that is strickly buffet I would like”.)