Thursday, May 06, 2004

ACE Or The Hole?

ACE (The American Coaster Enthusiasts) has found themselves in court once again. No, this time it is not suing Six Flags over Georgia for not having enough food at Spring Fling or PTC for making its trains too small. The club is currently being sued by ACE -- The Association of Club Executives. The battle is over who controls a simple acronym. Strip clubs are collectively suing the coaster-riding groupies.

Angelina Spencer, the group's executive director, recently derided the coaster enthusiast community. "If they think we're going to let our good name be soiled by those fanny pack-toting tools they can forget about it. I didn't stop dancing when I was seven months pregnant, so what makes them think I will give up this fight?" she fumed.

ACE President Carole Sanderson didn't understand what all the fuss was all about. "Sure we have common lettering," Sanderson commented. "But I don't think our groups are mutually exclusive. I believe we can peacefully co-exist and learn from one-another. For instance, we can teach them how to sing along in the station for 'one more ride' and they can demonstrate how they go 'one more time' with a customer after he has just finished."

The vagina-related ACE, which has recently taken up voter registration, sees no reason why they can't win. Spencer said, "Let's face it -- our girls have the goods. Who is the judge going to side with? A group that consists of mostly overweight, ugly men or chicks with big racks that will give him a 'happy ending' for free? That's not much of a choice."

Bill Linkenheimer, aka Link Daddy in coaster circles and ACE Grand Wizard emeritus, said the group isn't worried about competing with fat tats and loose lips. "Sure, they can grind on a judge's crotch, but can strippers talk for hours about which Six Flags park is better, Kentucky Kingdom or Elitch Gardens? I think not," the "Daddy" waxed philosophically.

The battle of the ACEs will be heard in the Florida district court and a trial date has not been set.

The case is JUGGS V. NERDS 36 FL 692.