Sunday, March 23, 2003

Park Enthusiasts Participate in Peace Rally

A rare sight was viewed today by the citizens of Boston, as park enthusiasts Gary Baker, 46, and Randolph Purvis, 33, were seen attending an peace rally near Cambridge. Many societal experts believed such a scene was impossible, stating that “these coaster lovers and ride aficionados basically never seem to notice anything going on in the world beside who is building what ride for the next season.”

Baker and Purvis were seen marching for much of the afternoon amongst a large group of protestors, many of whom carried signs reading “Support Our Troops By Bringing Them Home” and “Impeach Bush.” Counter-protestors across the street waved American flags and held up signs supporting the U.S. President.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Baker was overheard to say, after standing amid the protestors for approximately three hours. “Why do these people keep talking about some place called Iraq? Is something going on there? I thought we were coming to protest the developers that forced Whalom Park to shut down.”

Added Purvis, “This is a total crock. Iraq doesn’t even have any coasters. What the hell are these people yelling about? I’m going home and have my mom make me a grilled cheese sandwich.”

“We thought it was a little weird that these two scruffy-looking middle-aged dudes were marching with us wearing ‘F&*% Gerstlauer’ T-shirts,” said protestor Annette Li, 21. “They didn’t seem to be aware of major international figures like George Bush and Saddam Hussein, but, then again, they were yelling about how huge corporations were destroying the world, so we thought there could be a slight chance that they were at the protest they thought they were. I guess we were wrong, though. And they mainly seemed mad that we weren’t offering any ERT after the march, whatever that is.”