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For-Profit Company Amazes Investors By Making Profit

Six Flags Inc., a for-profit company, today enthralled, excited and, frankly disturbingly, aroused observers by forecasting that it would make a profit for the first time in its history -- a history during which it has always been formally denominated a for-profit corporation..

"We think we've got this thing figured out now," said CEO Mark Shapiro in an exclusive ARN&R interview. "When we spend less than we bring in, we make this previously mythical thing called a profit. We'd tried a bunch of other stuff, like spending more than we made and offering things that our customers didn't actually want. And the guys before us had what we thought was a great idea too, borrowing billions of dollars more than they could ever make back -- frankly, I'm still surprised that didn't work. But we've got it now! Just call us the pioneers of the amusement industry!"

--GP