Woo! Woo! Woo! Site O' the Weak! Woo! Woo!

Team Woo. An irritating sound (don't turn your speakers up too loud on the opening page), a concept, a business venture, and, primarily, a collection of monster coaster tools who pretty much just go around parks wearing geeky T-shirts and yelling "Woo!" in an obnoxious fashion.

According to the webmasters, Team Woo:

is a group of roller coaster riding enthusiasts and the Woo (as you probably heard when you entered this website) is the noise that we make. Sure, we make other noises too, but the Woo is the primary tool that we use to excite a crowd waiting in line. Team Woo travels to various theme parks and Woos at the people in line, and they tend to Woo back at us. You give a woo, you get a woo...it's a give and take relationship.

Thank you, Team Woo, for doing your best to make theme parks and the general public think coaster enthusiasts are complete and utter wankers.

Bear witness to the awesome leaders of Team Woo. Learn the exciting history of Team Woo. Witness a massive collection of truly horrifying pictures of Team Woo in action at various amusement parks. However, we strongly advise not viewing the disturbing picture of the boys in the restroom, probably giving their own little Woos a pounding. That sort of thing will make your palms hairy and your eyesight fail, kids.

And don't forget to fork over twenty bucks and purchase a Woo T-shirt, so that you, too, can look like a complete and utter tool in your local amusement park! Pick from slogans like the following:

I Came, I Saw, I Wooed
Wooin' From Womb to Tomb
Eat Sleep Woo
Got Woo?

Woo it up with Team Woo, this week's ARN&R Site O' the Weak.

--JCK

Enthusiasts Gear Up for Solace 2K4!

Across the country, coaster enthusiasts are preparing for one of the first coaster events of the year, Knott’s Solace gathering. Jeremy Geisteskrank of Hobart, Indiana, is having trouble packing. “I can’t decide on whether to bring my Beast T-Shirt, my Beast knit polo, or my Beast chambray shirt,” the confused 34 year old said. “It’s a real wardrobe dilemma.”

Others are excited to meet up with friends. Michelle Traurig, 22, is flying into Los Angeles on Thursday to have a special dinner with some online pals she’ll be meeting for the first time. “Maybe WoodieFreak and I will have the same chemistry in person that we do on RRC,” she said hopefully in an interview via AOL Instant Messenger.

While love connections have been made in previous years, event organizers have been careful to warn people not to engage in behavior that could lead to sexual harassment -- and many enthusiasts won’t be wearing promiscuous clothing or anything that would make them sexually attractive to other enthusiasts. “You never know if these guys are drooling from the ERT or from your baby doll “Airtime Whore” shirt,” said one female enthusiast. “It’s easier not to risk it.”

We at ARN&R wish all enthusiasts a great Solace weekend -- and watch out, you never know when the person next to you in the buffet line is a member of our crack investigative team -- so behave yourselves!

--MMS