Friday, August 13, 2004

Enthusiast Helpfully Corrects Ride Operator Terminology

In what all involved called "an incredibly giving and generous moment" and "not at all annoying," enthusiast Cameron Krinkland today provided helpful tips to a rider operator at Lake Compounce in Connecticut.

The ride operator, 19-year-old Kristin Bloodgood, had been repeating the same spiel she had repeated all summer: "Welcome to Boulder Dash! When the gates open, please enter the seat row directly ahead of you and place your items on the opposite platform. Thanks and enjoy your ride!"

Krinkland chuckled and shook his head. "Excuse me, it Kristin?" he said, leering at her nametag. "I heard you refer to 'seat row,' and you probably would want to know that on PTCs, those are called 'benches.' No, don't thank me -- I just want you to be the best and perkiest ride operator you can be." Ignoring Bloodgood's sullen glare, Krinkland continued: "Would you like to see my track record? I've got it right here on my Palm."

In the past, Krinkland has written a letter to the editor of his local newspaper, which had identified a powered children's ride as a roller coaster ("Experts agree that to be a coaster, it must operate on gravity; the 'Dragon Coaster' does not, and you do your readers a disservice suggesting otherwise") and become violent when a young child identified Excalibur at Valleyfair! as a wooden coaster, when in fact the trains ride on steel track.

Reached for comment, Krinkland said that he was considering asking Bloodgood out, stating that "she totally wanted me." Bloodgood, reached for comment, vomited.