Saturday, May 14, 2005

ConeyCon Tomorrow! (Or Today, if You're Reading This Sunday)

Just a reminder that 1st annual ARN&R ConeyCon will be tomorrow, rain or shine. It's either $10.99 or $12.99 for POP at Astroland from Noon to 4:00 p.m. and we've already bought the tickets so get your soggy ass there even if it rains. If it truly downpours all day (unlikely), then we are still meeting and everyone can expect to have fun anyway on our "ye olde historical bar-hopping tour" where we will curse the fact that nothing we are looking at in Coney will be around next year.

Now, on to more serious matters. It has come to our attention that there has been some confusion, and even controversy, over the ARN&R Code of Conduct, which will be strictly enforced at all present and future events. So, here are the rules again for clarification:

  • All attendees at any event are required to wear strict business attire. Suits with tie. All women must keep their faces covered in the traditional burkha. Guys, this is a really simple rule and the reasoning for it speaks for itself. If you can't follow it, JUST DON'T COME!!!

  • When encountering an actual writer for ARN&R, please treat them like you would any senior member of ACE: genuflect and offer them money, or your first born children. Don't worry, unlike the senior ACE board, they normally decline.

  • Wearing t-shirts that say "Paul Ruben is a giant tool" is SO 2004. "Paul Ruben is a media whore" is the new 2005 shirt. Please get it right.

  • Anyone who rides the Breakdance, the Top Spin 2, or the Zipper right after Nathan's deserves what they get.

  • When dealing with the media (who will inevitably be present (SIGH!)), please remember to never, ever, threaten to assassinate a sitting president. Instead, ARN&R recommends that you may want to threaten a living ex-president instead.

  • Finally, and most importantly, remember that this is all about -- HAVING FUN. That's why we have SO MANY RULES.

See you tomorrow!