Friday, April 08, 2005

South of the Border Raided By Minuteman Project

Pedroland Park Maintenance Director Steve Johansson had quite a scare when he started his rounds this morning. That is because members of the Minuteman Project were raiding his facility, looking for illegal aliens, specifically one named "Pedro."

Johansson said, "I tried to explain that our park is often called Pedroland, but they wouldn’t listen. All I heard was something that sounded like white trash speak and an occasional 'Git er done,' whatever the hell that means."

The Minuteman Project, a human hunting expedition gathered on Arizona's border by gun-toting rednecks, has garnered interest through a powerful media blitz. Good upstanding citizens, a majority of whom are associated with white supremacist and militia separatist groups, are patrolling the border looking for illegal aliens. One Aryan site that linked to the Minuteman Project’s website said it was "A call for action on part of ALL ARYAN SOLDIERS." Klassy with a K! Indeed, possibly three Ks!

According to Johansson during the takeover Minuteman Project members were incensed and told him they would kill all of the staff if they did not disclose Pedro's identity. He said, "I just kept telling them that he was a rodent with Mexican flair, but they didn’t believe me. When they found out that we had a coaster called Pedro’s Mouse, the shit really hit the fan."

This ARN&R reporter was able to catch up with one of the Minuteman Project leaders shortly after they raided the dangerous illegal alien hangout. The member, whose name I agreed to keep secret (but can be easily reached through the NAMBLA website) said he didn’t understand how things got so out of control. "One minute I was watching NASCAR and drinking Miller High Life, the next I was banging my sister and a few weeks later I was in South Carolina looking for a cartoon mouse. This is some really f*cked up shit."

At press time ARN&R contacts at the Minuteman Project could not confirm whether Speedy Gonzales at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom was their next intended target. As always, we will stay on top of this story as it unfolds.