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General Grievous Casting Announced

In news that has been eagerly awaited by salivating Star Wars enthusiasts, the casting of a voice actor to portray General Grievous, a menacing new computer-generated villain appearing in next May's Revenge of the Sith, was announced today. Although many insiders had speculated that John Rhys-Davies, Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, or even Carrot Top might score the plum voice role, Lucasfilm made a bold and surprising move: handling the voice of the evil General will be none other than the Voice of Kennywood.

"It's a proud day for me," said the elated Voice of Kennywood. "I know I've achieved recognition over the years for my announcements at Kennywood, especially when I alert the crowds as to when the park will be closing, since it always varies based on weather and how many people visit the park. But this is a whole new step, and one that I feel will open an entire new horizon of voiceover opportunities for me."

"F*ck this Garfield shit," the Voice added. "I'm moving up in the world, baby."

In related news, ARN&R has learned a very interesting spoiler dealing with the highly-anticipated final Star Wars chapter: our source tells us that Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker end up in their massive duel to the death due to an argument over whether Tsunami is exciting or just rough as hell. As always, we will keep you posted as we hear further exciting news and rumors about Revenge of the Sith.

--JCK