Wednesday, January 15, 2003 Still Online, Shocking Enthusiasts at or Above a Fourth-Grade Reading Level

In news that surprised coherent enthusiasts throughout the world, is still online, and seemingly continues operations, evidently believing itself to be relevant.

"Seriously? That site's still up? That's incredible," said Detroit-area college-educated enthusiast Mike Herrington. "You're kidding, right?"

After closing twelve popup ads and reloading three times to resolve ASP scripting errors, ARN&R can confirm, in an exclusive investigative report, that the site is indeed up, despite widespread disbelief among enthusiasts capable of carrying on a conversation about any book without the word "thrill" in its title. The front page offers links to articles available only at thirty or more other coaster-oriented sites, along with the siren call of a link: "Click here for a PHP script to make this do something!" Additionally, the site's forums continue to operate with upwards of thirty people active at any given time, at least one of whom is capable of forming a complete sentence.

There may, indeed, be even more available on the site, but even the most intrepid investigative reporter couldn't say for sure, given the site's labrynthine navigation. The search engine has been "taken offline for tweaking," rendering further investigation difficult.

Reached for comment, the site's management declared: "We is the site for the rest of us, them who can't really write or talk so good."