Monday, April 12, 2004

Collect This

If your hobbies include "rollor coasters" and collecting guns, you might be drifting perilously close to being considered for the ARN&R Site O' the Weak award. If your website has very little content, but still makes reference to each of the six game "counsils" you own and adore, even better. Of course, Robert, AKA Flipskater0005, also notes that "I hate school and I think it should die," which pretty much assured him of the honor unless we located a coaster forum topic even more breathtakingly stupid than usual.

Actually, come to think of it, we did locate some pretty stupid forum topics. But we'll hold on to them and make use of them later.

Not that this has anything to do with Robert's enjoyment of Millennium Force or other "rollor coasters," but he also works on some other clever sites, including one that offers minor irritating information about some skateboarding team and an entertainment service that allows people to hire him for work without seeing any proof that he has any credentials of any sort whatsoever.

Stratosphere Planning Jackson-Themed Ride

After the announcement that it would install a Wave Swinger-like ride spinning customers over the edge of the 1,000-foot-tall tower, the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas is already planning its next attraction. Surprisingly, it reportedly will be themed around the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

In contrast to the other rides atop the tower, the new ride will be decidedly low-tech, with the equipment consisting solely of really big guys dressed up to resemble Michael Jackson. The Giant Jackson Impersonators (the actual job title) will forcibly lift customers up and dangle them over the edge of the tower while inexplicably draping a towel over the riders' eyes. Certain randomly-selected lucky guests will also be molested by the GJIs.

"This new attraction is really pushing the envelope," said Stratosphere spokesman Andy Sadams. "With the randomly-programmed molestation feature, we challenge any other Vegas attraction to meet the level of excitement of this ride."

At press time, Jackson was reportedly considering the Stratosphere's offer, but was waiting to hear whether the casino's requirement that guests be over 18 was strictly enforced on the tower attractions.