Be Sure to Crank Those Speakers to Eleven

When we first received this link, we weren't completely certain abut using it as a Site O' the Weak. After all, the webmaster hasn't updated the thing in years, and until we came along, bad coaster website designers had little to fear. It's more fun to rip on sites that have sprung up since we've been operating, and their sins can't be blamed on just being left dormant for years. And really, it's not a top-level site, but we've seen considerably worse. Daily, probably.

However, it occurred to us later that we'd really be doing the world a great disservice if we didn't tease someone a little bit for actually referring to themselves as "Ice B. Nice." Yes! Ice B. Nice! Gah! That and the fact that we got blasted by the music file when we linked to this site made us want to slap Mr. Nice on the wrist just a little as payback.

So, we present to you what we'll call the Site O' the Half Weak: the Ice B. Nice Roller Coaster Web Page.

--JCK

A response from the author:

If the premise of your site is to "rip" on people that's absolutely fine. Given my income and what I've been able to accomplish over the years, receiving "criticism" from you isn't difficult to overlook. You know nothing about me so you have no idea where the name came from. Those who do know me know the origin and that's all the counts.

As far as the site being old, I actually use it to emphazise to people the time it takes to administer a website (I'd just begun tinkering with HTML code). I don't mind being used as an example so long as it can help prove the point of website administration and the time it takes to maintain it. Whereas most people who have contacted about it (at least when it was more up-to-date) liked some aspects of it, others voiced their comments as well. So I understand and accept how it can be viewed positively and negatively.

I'm sure you won't print this email simply because most who criticize like to hide behind closed doors and can't handle criticism of themselves but if you'd ever like to meet in person, let me know as I'll be at various coaster events this year. I'll have just a little more repsect for you if you approach me in person (although to raise your respect from less than zero
won't be much).

"The Cool One" (is that a little better?)

Beech Bend Introduces New Rides, Names

It's official. The new GCI wooden twister opening at Beech Bend Park will be called the "Kentucky Rumbler," a name that has been greeted with near-universal acclaim from industry bigwigs, the general public, and even hard-to-please coaster enthusiasts. "I didn't think a coaster could ever have a better name than 'Boomerang: Coast to Coaster' or 'Pepsi Max Big One,'" said ten-year Coaster Banshee member Jimmy McArdle, 26. "But this new ride sets the naming standard by which all other new coasters will be judged."

But the Rumbler isn't the only newly-named ride at Beech Bend. Also undergoing a name change will be the former Looping Star, a Pinfari portable steel ride, which will become the "Brief Encounter." "We originally slated the Rumbler to be called the 'Brief Encounter,'" said park representative Wallace Bodie. "But when we came across that Rumbler name, we just had to use that because it's so brilliant. However, we knew Brief Encounter was a name many people had become wedded to and adored, so we decided to adopt the name for a different ride."

Bodie added that the name change to "Brief Encounter" would smooth out any "small rough areas of track" and "completely eliminate the shin abrasions, blunt cranial trauma, and fractured ribs" that riders frequently experienced when the coaster had its prior name.

Rounding out the list of new Beech Bend attractions will be a combination food stand and circular kiddie 4x4 ride, located right next to the Brief Encounter. In keeping with the steamy adult theme of the area established by the "Brief Encounter" moniker, the new double attraction will be named the "Lunchtime Hummer."

--PJS/JCK