Monday, May 15, 2006

Investigative Report: Why Hollywood B-Listers at Tatsu?

In a shocking -- shocking, we tell you! -- turn of events, Six Flags Magic Mountain premiered their lastest coaster to Hollywood B-listers as opposed to the usual bunch of enthusiasts.

Why? Why? For the love of all handouts, why? We could think of only a few reasons...

  • They avoid paparazzi from real press; no need to invent 'press credentials' of their own
  • Names are at least recognizable to a few folks, occasionally even both parents
  • Velvet ropes more elegant than barbed wire needed to corral enthusiast herds
  • Most of them actually fit in ride restraints
  • They can 'act' like they're having a good time
  • Actually prefer rideops don't talk to them
  • No ponderous trip reports involving potty breaks and bodily emisisons six days before their visit
  • Two words: Back hair
  • Less likely to stuff free food in back pockets and/or cheek pouches, while simultaneously bitching about its quantity
  • Prefer zombielike actors to drooling Coaster Zombies
  • Paris Hilton can't even spell 'trim brake'