Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

ARN&R Takes Over Consultants' Site

In the boldest move yet by Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors, its extensive staff of web developers and hackers staged an enormous "happening" today by completely revising the website of International Theme Park Services. In a move of satirical genius, ARN&R made it appear that the consulting group had announced a tourist attraction based entirely on climbing an enormous bridge to see the supposed delights of Cincinnati, Ohio, from the air.

"We really decided to take this over the top," said the site's editors, known as the Grand Poobah and JCK, in a prepared statement. "So first, we came up with the utterly ridiculous name of The Purple People Bridge Climb, but then we decided that wasn't quite enough. So we pushed it further and made it so it was called the Purple People Bridge Cl!mb. Yes, that's right, an exclamation point right in the middle of the word climb! And we replaced virtually every 'i' on the entire site with an exclamation point!"

The editors also noted with pride an obviously insane paragraph they included in the purported steps leading up to a climb (sorry, cl!mb):

All indemnity forms will be signed. An alcohol breath test will be taken to ensure that each Cl!mber is fit to take the Cl!mb. Cl!mbers will receive their Cl!mbing gear, placing it over their personal clothing. Communication equipment will be distributed consisting of the newest in “BONE CONDUCTION COMMUNICATIONS TECHNOLOGY.”

"'Bone conduction communications technology!' What a great line! God, we rule!" said JCK in an interview.

Another outstanding part of the spoof site, according to the editors, is the logo, in which an enormous man appears to be contempating urinating on the bridge. They also point to the theme climbs, in particular to the theme climb that would include these delights: "Cl!mbers decked out as gangsters will cross the bridge and learn the details of the 'sin city' past of the area, once known as 'Little Mexico'." ARN&R's editors pointed out that anyone doing so would obviously be dragged from the bridge by any rational human coming upon them, and that the concept of charging for such a privilege was utterly ridiculous.

Inquiries to the staff of International Theme Park Services have been unanswered; they appear as yet to be unaware of the fact that their site has been hacked so thoroughly.