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Camelot Theme Park Staffer's Date Disputes Press Release

The Camelot Theme Park recently announced a new coaster, declaring it, at 2,600 feet, one of the longest roller coasters in existence. The press release, written by one Barry Carlton of Lancashire, described the ride -- with a top speed of over 40 miles per hour -- as a white knuckle attraction with "world class thrills."

In a related story, Carlton's date last Saturday issued a press release announcing that "Barry Carlton is pathetically unable to judge length, the thrills related to length, the relative length of any given item compared to world records or even world averages, what it means to provide 'world class thrills,' or the necessary speeds required to provide satisfaction, much less thrills, to others. Also, it's really gross when his back hair gets caught in his chain mail. In short -- and I cannot emphasize the word 'short' enough -- he's clueless."

Carlton was unavailable for comment.

--GP