Monday, November 01, 2004

Welcome to Hell


Just in case you didn't get a good enough scare on Halloween this year, we strongly urge you to visit our Site O' the Weak, Boils the Clown's Fun House. Be sure to crank the volume and sit through the entirety of the perhaps most garish, Flash-crazed, obnoxious intro ever devised for a website. And then, if you haven't suffered a violent seizure, have a gander at the main page...if there were a monetary prize awarded for having the most annoying flashing gizmos, unnecessary sounds, animated cursors, and eye-searing color combinations, Boils would not only win hands down, but would likely have the award named after him, as well. And don't forget to waste a few precious moments of your life playing the site's games and riding its rides, all of which suck worse than you could possibly imagine.

Incidentally, studies have shown that viewing Boils the Clown's Fun House directly can actually cause retinal scarring, so we have found that it is best to treat the site as one would a solar eclipse...view it only indirectly, using incredibly expensive NASA-approved Mylar or aluminum-coasted safety goggles, or, as a cheaper alternative, projecting the images through a pinhole onto a sheet of paper.