Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

Who Beefed?

Our new Site O' the Weak is pretty simple. It's the Six Flags home page. We haven't kept track of suck things, but they surely must be closing in on Viands-like SOW career numbers by this point. But why does Six Flags get honored this time?

It's the big ad on the front page that says "We're Beefing Up Security: Six Flags, now home to the Justice League." Maybe it's a clever ploy to introduce more characters so little kids will jump up and down. We think it's more likely to be literal. As in, Six Flags is actually admitting its parks are rife with uncontrolled louts, drunken rednecks, and gangs. Of course, one could take the stand that a park finally adding more security is something to be proud of.

We say, it's about friggin' time. If they'd paid any attention over the past ten years to the fact that you couldn't walk five feet without being mugged, molested, spat on, or had a cigarette ground out on your testicles by the typical clientele of most Six Flags properties, we'd actually be applauding. Now they apparently want a cookie for doing what should have been done ages ago, and are making out like they rule. Sorry, folks, it's a little too little, too late, and being cutesy about it is really annoying.

--JCK