Sunday, October 16, 2005

Enthusiast Thinks He Catches Sister Snoring

According to coaster enthusiast Dan Wise, 36, there is widespread suspicion afoot that his sister Rebecca, 34, might have been snoring while he was describing his coaster exploits to her over the phone.

"See, I called up Rebecca last night to tell her about my awesome trip to Pennsylvania to go to PPP and Dorney," said Wise. "She seemed a little surprised to hear from me, since I forgot to call for her birthday, and my nephew's birthday, and went to ride coasters in Florida instead of going home last Christmas, but whatever. So she asked how I was doing, and where was I living since she hadn't heard from me in a year, and naturally I told her about how many rides I got on Phoenix, and how hard I bashed some kid on the bumper cars, and how Hydra's Revenge was a lot more rattly than most B&M's and therefore kind of disappointing, and then...."

At this point, Wise scrunched his face up before continuing:

"And then right around the part where I was describing how much better the fourth row of Steel Force was than I expected, because of that cool shelf where you can rest your feet and all, I heard this odd sound. A relaxed rumbling sound. I called out Rebecca's name four times, and every time the rumbling sound continued, until the last, when she said 'Wha? Huh? Oh, yeah.'"

According to Wise, his suspicion that his sister was uninterested in his exciting and important coaster conquests led him to brusquely hang up on her.

"I'm not talking to her again until something really important comes up," said a disgusted Wise. "Like if one of us ends up in the hospital, or if I think that new Intamin at Six Flags Great Adventure rules and I absolutely have to share it with someone right after I get off it. No one disrespects me like this and gets away with it!"